Old Wounds
by gorengal
Summary: An Amends post-ep. In his unrelenting pursuit of truth, Goren opened old wounds for Eames and was forced to acknowledge some of his own traumas.


**Disclaimer: All belong to Dick Wolf except Mrs. Cavalcante.**

* * *

Goren sat on his couch in the dark, fists clenched. The Quinn boy's words from the day of the funeral echoed in his head. _"T__he Chief of Ds told my mom he's a whack job." _Goren wondered why they even kept him on the job if they thought he was so crazy. Crazy Bobby Goren and his crazy mother…now those were familiar taunts from his childhood. 

_Bobby was eleven, walking to the corner store because they were out of milk. "Hey, crazy Bobby! Where's your crazy mother?" A couple neighborhood boys circled around him on their bikes. "Ooh, look out, Jimmy. Bobby might go crazy and kill you in your sleep!" The boys rode away cackling, and Bobby heard their laughter long after they were out of sight. The bells on the door jangled as Bobby entered the store. He gave a half-hearted wave to Mrs. Cavalcante behind the counter and went straight to the cooler._

_Spotting packages of American cheese next to the milk, Bobby quickly calculated he'd have enough to buy both. He could make grilled cheese for dinner, then have cheese sandwiches for breakfast and lunch the next day. Bringing his purchases to the counter, he silently wished Mrs. Cavalcante would stop giving him such sad looks. Everyone in the neighborhood knew how odd Frances had become and Bobby didn't know which was worse: his embarrassment or the looks of pity he received._

He was startled back to the present by the ring of his cell phone. Pulling it out of his front pocket he checked the display. Eames. He let it ring. Even Eames probably thought he was out of his mind now. The way she looked at him in the interview room, the evidence from her husband's long-ago murder tacked up on the boards. How dare he run through her life like a bull, not caring if she were gored. _"This isn't another one of your puzzles."_ Her voice shook and her eyes swam with unshed tears. How could he be so uncaring to barrel ahead in pursuit of truth no matter what it cost her? No matter what wounds he'd reopen? The unrelenting pursuit of evil. _Ah, fuck. I wouldn't be surprised if she's already told Ross she's through with me.  
_  
Goren let his head rest against the back of his couch. He dozed in a sort of twilight, aware of his surroundings as dream images floated in his hazy mind. Jimmy and the other neighborhood boy taunted Goren the adult, circling him on two-wheeled skateboards instead of bikes…Frances sitting on the front stoop of their building in Canarsie, bundled up in a parka and snow boots in mid-July because They had changed the calendar while she was sleeping…Nicole Wallace behind the counter at the corner store, asking if he had caught the whale yet…Eames' voice, calling his name, but he couldn't see her….

"Bobby!"

Goren woke with a start, his cell phone open in his hand. "'lo?" He cleared his throat. "Hello? Eames?"

"Bobby, you ok?"

"Yeah, sorry. Think I dozed off sitting up." Bobby suppressed a yawn and heard Alex on the open line, breathing slightly labored. "You ok, Eames?"

She forced a laugh and said, "Yeah." Her voice was tight and controlled. "Listen, Bobby. I just wanna say I'm sorry. And thanks."

Goren interrupted. "You don't have to…."

"No, see...I do. I don't want you thinking I'm angry. I mean, I was angry, but not with you. You…did the right thing. You…" Alex's voice cracked and Goren heard her take several slow breaths. "You found the truth. You did what was right...no matter what the Chief said, no matter what the other cops said…and no matter what I said. It was right, Bobby."

Goren simply nodded, not trusting his voice, and knew somehow Alex would sense his response.

"I'm taking a couple days…but the offer still stands, Bobby. Call me if you need me."

They both knew he wouldn't, but Bobby said, "I will."

"G'night. And go to bed, Goren, or you'll be putting some chiropractor's kid through college." Alex clicked off her cell.

Goren smiled in the dark and shut his phone. He rocked himself up and off the couch and headed to his bedroom, for once not fearing his dreams.


End file.
